7 cups of tea

7 cups as it’s members lovingly call it is a chat room of sorts. People of all ethnicities and backgrounds can go on it completely anonymous to talk to someone who will just…listen.
There discussions can range from anger towards parents to suicidal thoughts. Any problems life can throw at you, you can type in the website and talk it out with someone complete uninvolved who has been through similar situations.
It helps.
I found them when I had a particularly painful depressive ‘peak’ as I call them, I decided I needed help, the thought of feeling like that for any longer was unbearable!
So I picked up my phone and typed ‘depression online help’, it took a moment of searching but soon I found it, the solution; 7 cups of tea.
They found me a listener, a girl from Turkey, she listened to my feelings, calming me down and so making the pain I felt, in my very core, manageable.
It honestly saved my life.
I will always remember that conversation and it inspired me to become a listener myself. It was a surprising simple experience, you merely fill in a few details before taking part in their online, completely free, active listening course.
Listening isn’t easy, sometimes there isn’t anything clear that you can say and so you end up sitting there, thinking as quick as you can so they don’t get worried. Other times, you dearly want to give them advice but you can’t. That is the one rule to 7cups, you cannot give advice, no matter how good intentioned, after all you don’t know the whole story.
I guess what all this is really about is me asking if you think you could make a listener, or if you need to be listened to. Either way, 7cups will always be there for you.
Love you all
Littlestorys x

The perks of being organised

Organisation has never been a skill of mine, I mean who wants to spend an endless amount of time pushing paper when there are so many much more interesting things to be doing, karate for example!
However, (yes there clearly was always going to be an however and I prefer it to ‘but’ :p) since I went back to school I’ve taken to being organised, time consuming as it may be, I still end up with more time because I’m not spending hours fretting and it means there’s no more last minute scribbling of homework.
I’m also taking all the opportunities available to me because I’m organised enough to know about them and how to take them.
It’s nice.
So if there’s one thing I recommend you do today it’s to get organised, sort work into folders, save a few hours and a couple of snacks to tackle that mound of paper work or homework before it gets any bigger because I promise you, you’ll both feel calmer and a sense of achievement when you do, it’s kind of addictive.

Assumptions

So it turns out my friend are idiots, but not evil idiots 🙂 they, it turned out, thought I was going with them anyway, assuming that I as part of the group would go on a group holiday.
I guess I just needed reminding what a friend is and that they are there for me, just as I am for them. I know it now and though I can’t promise I’ll always remember it, I won’t make the assumption of someone’s guilt based on my own feelings of self worth and I’ve got to tell you, I feel quite worthwhile right now.
All my love,
Littlestories x

Friends and holidays

Okay, this is a bit of a depressing subject, if you’re cheery or already even slightly depressed I recommend you do not read this. It’s not exactly the Inbetweeners material.
You would think that friends would, if the whole group was going, at least not talk about it around you If you’re not invited… It sucks!
Friends are meant to be there for you, not make you feel like you don’t matter.
So here’s what happened.
My ‘friends’ are organising a group holiday, right now they are sitting in a circle right I front of me discussing the detail, never even sparing a glance or errant thought my way. It appears I do not matter enough to them to be given even that small courtesy.
So I left, while in the middle of writing this if you can guess, I refuse to sit there and listen, to let them make me feel this way!
It’s a beautiful day though, the suns shining and the birds are chirping their sweet song. If I just sit, feeling the suns rays soak into me right to my soul it’s not too bad, I can and will survive this, just like the trees and grass survive the cold winters grasp.
Thanks for reading if you have, I means a lot to me, more right now than you’ll probably ever know.
I love you all,
Littlestories x

Magic

I’ve always wanted to have magic, quite logical really, if I had magic I could do anything, be anyone. However, I now see magic as it is, a spiders web which lays hidden in plain sight, waiting until the little flys land, dumbstruck, unable to leave. It tricks us all and so we glorify it, criticising fake magicians not because we thought they had magic and we didn’t and not because they’re fake but because we now know how they did their tricks, we have viable, unquestionable proof that magic does not exist and that, that breaks even the coldest hearts among us.
The irony to this whole story is that only the people who accept that there’s no magic can ever be magicians, they are the only ones who see past the illusions and childhood aspirations, reach out and grasp the true magic, human nature and it’s predictability.
The point to all this is that everyone has something out there which is right for them, they may not find it today or tomorrow but it’s there waiting around the next corner. Remember though, sometimes you have to look past the illusions to see the true magic .

Remember, I love you
Littlestorys x

Magic

I’ve always wanted to have magic, quite logical really, if I had magic I could do anything, be anyone. However, I now see magic as it is, a spiders web which lays hidden in plain sight, waiting until the little flys land, dumbstruck, unable to leave. It tricks us all and so we glorify it, criticising fake magicians not because we thought they had magic and we didn’t and not because they’re fake but because we now know how they did their tricks, we have viable, unquestionable proof that magic does not exist and that, that breaks even the coldest hearts among us.
The irony to this whole story is that only the people who accept that there’s no magic can ever be magicians, they are the only ones who see past the illusions and childhood aspirations, reach out and grasp the true magic, human nature and it’s predictability.
The point to all this is that everyone has something out there which is right for them, they may not find it today or tomorrow but it’s there waiting around the next corner. Remember though, sometimes you have to look past the illusions to see the true magic .

Remember, I love you
Littlestorys x

Magic

I’ve always wanted to have magic, quite logical really, if I had magic I could do anything, be anyone. However, I now see magic as it is, a spiders web which lays hidden in plain sight, waiting until the little flys land, dumbstruck, unable to leave. It tricks us all and so we glorify it, criticising fake magicians not because we thought they had magic and we didn’t and not because they’re fake but because we now know how they did their tricks, we have viable, unquestionable proof that magic does not exist and that, that breaks even the coldest hearts among us.
The irony to this whole story is that only the people who accept that there’s no magic can ever be magicians, they are the only ones who see past the illusions and childhood aspirations, reach out and grasp the true magic, human nature and it’s predictability.
The point to all this is that everyone has something out there which is right for them, they may not find it today or tomorrow but it’s there waiting around the next corner. Remember though, sometimes you have to look past the illusions to see the true magic .

Remember, I love you
Littlestorys x

The beginning

Dreams grasp us at our most defenceless, they pull and scour our souls for the weakest part and feed off of it. Our very own sub-conscience eats our weakness, surely that means we should be left with only strength when we wake?
That however is not the case, I certainly lacked strength as I woke surrounded by a familiar aftershave, though that could have been due to a demented screech ‘what is she doing here? Why would he let her!?’ I had to bite my lips to stop from commenting on my obvious state of slumber, she wouldn’t have appreciated it, neither would Mark for that matter.
Instead, my crusted eyes stayed shut and I snuggled deeper under the thick, grey quilt, content to escape from both the sharp morning frost and it’s equally cold companion.
I must have drifted off, the next thing I heard was a dry ‘are you going to get up any time this morning or should I come back in an hour or so?’
Mark was home.
I shot up, eyes wide open and hand to my chest in shock ‘don’t sneak up on people, I could have died!’
‘No you wouldn’t’ he turned to me so I could clearly see as his brown eyes shone with mischief ‘now as you’re up, breakfast is ready and I really would like my bed back’ with that he strolled out, pulling the dark mahogany door shut behind him.

Pain and positives

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When painkillers ( the over the counter kind) don’t kill the pain I’m dealing with it makes me wonder, are they defunct and therefore not working or am I just in so much pain the tablets can’t kill it all?
That thought kind of makes me feel like a written off car, I’ve gone to the mechanic and they’ve took one look at me and decided I’m unfixable.
It’s got to the point that I can’t type!
My brain is half in a deep dark recess rocking back and forward mumbling to itself, all that’s left is the masochistic uncoordinated section which spell check really isn’t helping!
On the positive side I have got the day to myself and circumstances could have been a lot worse, I could have been in public.
Anyway so fun fact, pain can cripple humans, it’s not all bad though, I for one am looking forward to the relief that I’ll feel when my pain disappears and I’m free, that and I may go watch Shrek because in my delirium I keep hearing donkeys voice, I’m undecided as to whether that’s a good thing or not but like everything in life it just…is.

Remember, I love you
Littlestorys x

Why not, right?

People spend there whole lives focusing on their reasons for doing things, interviewers love to ask ‘why do you want to do this?’, ‘Why not something else?’ We spend so much time focusing on introspection, searching for our reasons for any and all actions, that we forget we’re actually human, as intelligent as that may make us in the boundaries of this world, it still means we make irrational and emotion based decisions and sometimes ones with no clear reason for the time being, does that mean that they’re the wrong one?
I don’t think so, I think they are what mean we are still human, not just a species dependent on logic and rationality.
They are what makes real.
For example, which one of you can honestly say why you are reading this blog in an enirely logical fashion, which doesn’t involve treating emotions as a process driven by chemicals in your brain and then why those chemicals were released? Because, when it comes down to it, every decision we make is led by emotions and everything we do is therefore irrational, implusive and instinctive but most of all, it’s human. At the end of the day, the only question running through our heads when we make those life changing decisions is why not, right?

Remember, I love you
Littlestorys x